The true meaning of a person through my eyes..

Comfort zone.. its time to step out of the box and begin to unveil the hidden truths that lie beyond the surface..

Most people I have met through out the twenty four years of my existence..  have only judged people on their physical or mental appearance.. These people never step more then an inch into my world, I instantly will close you off and you will never affect my moods, presence or self-security..

For my friends back home.. you are real, your the truth, your my sanity(Kory Polk).. For my new friends in Moldova, I can't await to truly engage in a friendship so real.. As for now that time is unknown..

As I ponder on my thoughts... sink into my seat... listen to the sound around me.. I hear accusations.. I hear pity, I hear constant moaning and groaning.. It overwhelms me.. Because to me people aren't real until they find themselves, and get out of their childish being.. This is what gaining new friendships feels like to me... Your sat in front of fifty-four other people.. everyone so different with their thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and actions.. and we are expected to fit together perfectly.. Unreal.. unheard of...  But truly amazing at the same time, because no matter the differences between all of us, we all have the same purpose in Moldova.. to spread peace and friendship... and that is the simple truth..

Energy is something I yearn for, long for, want so much in my life.. Moldova has begun to drain me as a person, it's beginning to take me away.. I need to work, I need my sanity... My frustration level is heightening as I watch all around me and hear people talking about others, judging them.. acting childish and I strive and long for my sanity that I had in the states to come back! Why is judgement a part of life? Why can't people be real to others and to themselves??

To me judgement is in another light.. a light of simplicity.. looking all around me at the Moldovan people at their physical, mental and most importantly at their hearts.. And find true serenity within my self knowing why I want to help people every day of my life.. We as humans are all so unique, and NO one person is better then the next..  Back in the states I only had to surround myself around people whom I liked, shared feelings with, and connected with my dry, straight faced humor.. Here in Moldova I am NOT understood and I yearn for this day to come.. The day when people understand me, respect me, and most importantly recognize my good qualities... Sarah Johnson.. I miss you more then anything.. It brings tears to my eyes when I am writing this, you are the one person in this world that I can share anything with, and you understand.. The treasure of our friendship is just the simple actions of looking at each other and being able to know our moods, thoughts and beliefs.. Your my friend, your my attitude, and you forever will be in my heart! I love you girl..

As for my connection to Moldova and to this blog I want to share some of the daily stereotypes I hear from Moldovans:

1) All americans are fat!

2) All americans ONLY eat fast food.( First week I was here in Moldova I got asked if I wanted to go to McDonalds because I am American!)

3) All americans are rich( Our lives our perfect and we have everything we want)(If they even new the beginning of my pain)

4) All americans are loud and obnoxious. ( We get many stares everyday if a group of Americans are together and being loud, however Moldovans can scream their heads off and party away and it be perfectly normal.. Difference is we speak in English)

5) We all know famous people. (J-Lo is my best friend)

6) We aren't sociable and need our privacy. (Go to your room and stay there and dont worry I will close the door behind you)( As I scream for my existence of my social being)

7) All americans are black( and a majority of Moldovans don't like black people). (One of the volunteers host families couldn't believe that she was white!)(Another volunteer was pinched to make sure she was actually a "real" american)

8) We are weird because we smile- Moldovans dont smile (if you smile here in Moldova your a little weird, and women don't smile at men it means you want them!)

9) All Americans do everything wrong! (Financially we don't know what we are talking about haha!)

In contrast these are stereotypes that I have never encountered in all my travels.. With being to twenty countries I would think that I would of felt these feelings before, but its a new and unusual experience.. Its hard to describe.. Alot of that is the simple fact is that I will be living in this country for two years.. However, every day I feel judged with every move I make...

But going back to the main question.. Why do people judge one another.. Why can't a person take the time to ask others questions and get to know their true interior as a person..  To me.. my life would be better off if this was the truth..  This will be my challenge here in Moldova, because every morning I wake up, and every evening I go to sleep.. I yearn for my friends, my family, my job back home.. I yearn for the understanding, the respect of the knowledge I carry, and the humor that is hidden within me.. Lord guide me down the right path and show me the way to my existence in this country..