Friday, September 23, 2011

A little bit of everything... My Peace Corps project

The information that I am providing here is something I had to collect for Peace Corps III phase of pre-service training..  It will conclude information on my center, the community, cultural beliefs and personal aspects. If your interested read further...


Community Entry and Integration Assignment
Jamie Frits


Description of the Center “Pentru Tine”- The Purpose

Distractive Activities and Recreation

1.     Mobile games and teams
2.     Soccer
3.     Basketball
4.     Volleyball
5.     Relay Races
6.     Ping Pong
7.     Badminton.
8.     Frisbee.

Activity Information.
    1. Activities on the computer
    2. Meditation
    3. School Work
    4. Round table dispute
    5. Contests, Quizzes
    6. Editing the magazine “Your chance.”

Community Activities: Intellectual and Emotional
1.     Picture
2.     Drawing
3.     Application
4.     Popular Dance
5.     Puppet Theater
6.     Pantomime
7.     Karaoke.
8.     Cartoons
9.     Film for adolescents
10.  Photovoice.
           
Professional Orientation

1.     Cooking in small circle
2.     Crocheting
3.     Knitting
4.     Embrodiery
5.     Modeling of different crafts
6.     Gypsum works and dough

Training for organizers, volunteers and specialists

1.     Play Scheme ( Once a year)

 Mission Statement

The mission statement is not written any where in the center it is only in a document labeled Plan Project. However it was recognized that all people who work in the center know the mission statement, and can speak it with out looking into the documents. My partner also expressed that she believes everyone follows and respects this mission statement.

Mission
Qualities and skills development of children and young people with the need to effectively integrate and adapt into a changing dynamic society.

Vision
Promoting social inclusion and equal opportunities.

Staff and Responsibities

Valeria Macovei- Partner at the center- sports (soccer, basketball), activities on the computer, painting, karaoke, film for adults, crochet, sewing, and making bracelets.

Zina Balmus- Works in the kitchen and makes food for all the children every day after school. Will also help the children with demonstrations on how to make food and provides them with information on what is in certain foods.

Raisa Ivanov- Executive Direction of the center. She responds to all the documents that need to be handled, along with the funding requirements and obiligations for the center.

 Alexandra Danaila- To help the children with their homework. Also helps with meditation. On occasion she will help with reading books from the library. Along with other activities such as dance, theater, and helps to make clay activities.

Gallina Bostan- Art, reading, helps the children with their homework, pantomime, and sport activities.

Volunteers
Dana Danaila- Helps where is needed.
Ana Bordea- Helps where is needed.
Simon Marin- Helps with sports, but is not in the center very often, he only helps out when he is back at home for the weekend. I have never met him before, but it was recognized he helps out a lot in the summer.


4. Partners

  • Body Shop
    1. They are located Europe, they are a cosmetic shop. However wants to help other people, and helps to collect and give away money for children.
  • Center De Zi Speranta
    1. Center for children with disabilities. The director is Lucia Gavreliza.
  • Children on the Edge
    1. Organization that is located in Europe. Organization for the government for children of all types. Located in Anglia, Britain.
  • Liceul Teoretic(School in Iargara)
    1. Domna Raisa is the director of the school and the executive director of the center, and helps out where is needed with documents and money.

***The Body Shop, Center De Zi Speranta, and Children on the Edge all work together as one unit to provide money for different centers.**

Founders:
Lucia Gavrilita (President)- Argyroula Ramaki (Founder)- Nicolae Cicoan (Worked in Speranta)- Raisa Ivanoa (Director of School and Executive Director of Center)- Alexandra Danaila (Professor in Iargara)

How did they decided on this center-

They all work together, and they look at a variety of aspect to decide to get the money. It all depends on how many children, the need and so forth.  However the actuality on why the center in Iargara is very unclear. The information that I was able to collect was from Exectuive Director Raisa Ivanoa and she was very unclear on this. She stated that she saw a need in the community and when she was already connected with the other founders and she decided to mention it to them. And before time the center was developed.
Long term outlook-

In 2008 was when “Pentru Tine,” was developed. With the three partners decided to join in this center was the beginning of a great few years for this center. However the commitment for money was only for 4 years. The money will run out in March 2012.

It was said by the executive direction that if they aren’t able to get further funding that the center would be closing in March 2012. At this point there are no leads for further funding, however she is hoping that her current partners will renew their contracts.


6.Where do you see your role within the organization?

-       At this point it’s very difficult for me to see where my role will be in this organization. My partner and the director have not had time to sit down with me and talk about plans for the future, and how I can assist them in the areas of need. My center was on vacation from August 25th- September 15th. And my partner started her vacation on the 22nd of August. Therefore there has been a little amount of communication with the people who work at the center. In the few short weeks that I have been able to work, I was able to accumulate the information that is provided on this document.
-        My hope is that I will be able to assist in the areas of alcohol and drug abuse, and being able to provide knowledge to the center on how to work with children who are in socially vulnerable homes. There is a need in the center due to the poverty, along with the troublesome homes that these children come from.  Yet my experience is the few times I have tried to provide such information on behavior, I have been rejected and pushed away, as if I don’t know anything.
-       The activities that I have assisted with thus far are all related to sports activities and just being around the children. At this time I am not sure what the center provides to children when they are in a difficult emotional state.
-       My objective is this center is a place for children to come after school to stay out of trouble, and not have to go home to an empty house. It has been recognized that in the past the children were getting involved into troublesome areas, because of the lack of supervision and lack of after school activities that were healthy and productive.
-       During my first few weeks at my center I addressed the areas of need that were acknowledged at the partner conference, and to my surprise my partner had let me know that they did not need help in those areas, and their main concern at this time was finding money for the center. It was said that in March 2012 the center would be out of grant money, and the center would close. At this time they wanted me to find money for them, and be able to provide information on grants. I let them know I had no experience in this area, but I would try. However it is almost impossible for me to complete this task with out help, and I have not been able to get any where.  The director expressed that she would make phone calls with me and try to find out information, however that was over 4 weeks ago, and nothing has been done and no effort for help has been acknowledged.
-       Overall, I believe it will take several more months for me to be able to require a solid foundation of knowledge on how I can help this center. It will take effective communication and the willingness to work on all parties, along with all parties being flexible and finding time to have such discussions. I can truly say I don’t believe this is a priority of theirs at this moment.

Community Integration

Demographics
1.     Religion (Christian Orthodox)
-       Two churches (One for Sundays which is under construction and one for Saturdays)
2.     Age
-       Children- 1-18
-       Adults- 19-29 in University or in the City for work.
-       Adults- 30-67
-       Normal death age- 60
3.     Ethnicity
-       Caucasian
-       Nationality: Bulgaria, Gagauzi, Russian, Ukraine, Romanian, Cazahi, Belarus, Romi (Tigani)

  1. Areas in Iargara

Health Center
-       Heart problems- its transmitted with genetics
-       Tubercolosis- from the water and from dirty money
-       Bronchitis- Drink from same cup, and not good health practice
-       AIDS- Sexually
-       Hepatitis A,B,C
-       Gastritis- From oil, and eating small amounts of food.
-       Stomach, liver, lung and Kidney problems- water, air, smoking, alcohol
-       Dental- smoking, alcohol, and no proper care for teeth
-       Eyes- Cataracts, and people do not have money for care.
-       Herniated Disc- From very heavy objects or sitting in a car for long period of time.
-       Cancer- Pulmonary, Genital, Organ, Leukemia
** Many people have these problems for long periods of time, and transfer them because they don’t go to the hospital for proper health care due to financial problems. It is more likely they will use home remedies instead.**

Police Station
-       There is a number of criminal and sexual offenders in my community.
-       There is also a small number of murders in the community that have paid of their debt with the police to stay out of prison.
-       There is a decent problem in the village for theft, the people in the village who don’t work will usually steal things, and turn around and sell it to others so they can make food for themselves.

Leaders in the Community
-       Mayor (Claudia Ivanov)
-       School Director (Raisa Ivanoa)

Respected Community Members
-       Vera Belecci (Director of Elevator)
-       Valentina Toolerici- Very popular, and crochets for many children and does not ask for money.
-       Sergio Jurcov (Director of Cultural House)

Businessmen
-       Andrei Sestacovschi- owner of two magazines
-       Mihov Galina- owner of three magazines
-       Ivanov Claudia- owner of three magazines
-       Magla Serghei- owner of one magazine.
-       Saulenco Nadejola- owner of one magazine
-       Vesteman Tatiana- owner of one magazine
-       Botez Serghei- owner of one magazine
-       Panchev Liola- owner of one magazine
-       Cernenchi Iacov- owner of one magazine

Organizations in the Community
-       NGO- none
-       School (Romanian and Russian)
-       Hospital
-       Kindergarden(2)
-       Mayors Office      
-       Winery
-       Police Office          
-       Pharmacy
-       Post Office     
-       Elevator(Corn, Wheat, Sun Flowers)
-       Shops(20)
-       Train Station
-       Piazza on Sundays
-       Window Manufacturing
-       Cultural Center
-       Library for Adults and Children
-       Club
-       Bar(2)
-       Meat Producer

Main Income Sources:
-       Agriculture- Farming
-       Elevator
-       Winery
-       Forest
**Many people work in the fields, along with the three businesses indicated above**

Seasons change

Fall-
-       People work a lot during this period with the need of picking their crops, and the majority of this is done by hand or tractor.
-       Average work hours during this time 6am-8pm.
-       For the people who are not working in the fields it’s normal to work around seven hours.

Winter-
-       People make any changes to their tractors and such during this time.
-       Very little amount of people work during this time due to the cold tempatures and little to no heating systems in the work buildings.
-        People who work in the stores, hospital, etc, work during this time and will work their normal seven hours day.

Spring- 
-       During this time people are busy planting crops.

Summer-
-       Many people are on vacation.
-       On another side note: if the person works in a institution they usually have a salary and will get paid time off. If they don’t have a salary people will help others with their crops, or find side work to do for money during this time.


Cultural Adaptation and Home Stay

Gender Roles:

Men: Dominant, powerful and hardworking. However when it comes to work in the house, men are the first people that will walk away from the job. They don’t clean up any of their messes or do any of the cooking They rely on women to do all that type of work for them. I have also recognized that the majority of days men are usually drinking from early in the morning until late evening, and are drunk many days of the week.
For as how they treat others, I can only say my experience as an American young woman. I would say they are very forceful, and say whatever comes to their mind. They don’t have any reservations on what they think or feel, if they want something they go for it, even if it’s inappropriate.

Women: Hardworking and loud. These are the two words that I really believe can sum up woman in my village or in Moldova. All day women are working either in the house, cooking, working outside, in the fields, or at their regular jobs. It is required of women to get everything done for the day, while also working a full time job. I believe most women get up quite early in the morning, and then work tell late in the evening with their daily tasks.
With the idea of being loud, the way women express themselves to men or other women, its in a way as if they were yelling at one another. This is one of the hardest things I have had to adjust to.

Youth: There is a big difference with females and males in the youth spectrum. The girls will participate in as much work as their mothers, and often take on that role when their mothers are out of the home. For instance my host sister can cook, clean, take care of all the animals and do outside work with the crops and she is only 15 years old.
My host brother is another story, he will do outside work with the crops, and a few other around the house tasks, but he is just like the men in the house and he would never clean, do laundry, wash dishes or cook.

Respect: I have noticed a lot of respect with the youth and the adults in my community. When I work in the school the children will always stand when an adult enters the room, and will always address them with respect. In the center I work at it is the same way, and the children are very courteous and thoughtful of the adults.

Signs of disrespect: With youth its the normality of talking about each other behind each others backs, fighting, and thinking others are below them because of poverty reasons.

Losing respect: I believe how people have lost respect in my community is by not having money, doing drugs, having disabilities, or being a criminal and committing crimes against others.

Public Meetings, Cultural, Religious Events:
  • Attended a school meeting for children, parents and teachers before school had started to address the needs of the community, and to make a more efficient school environment, while also seeing the differences in thinking patterns between the three groups.
  • Moldovan Day
  • Baby Shower
  • Rise Boot Drop
  • Four birthday events (Host Dad, Host Sister, Partner, and Host Dad’s Sister in another village)
  • First day of school
  • Danced the Hora


Tutor: Ina Porubin
-       We have been working together at least one to two times a week for Romanian lessons.
-       The fortunate part of Ina being my tutor is she was my Language Instructor during Pre-Service Training.


Local Market Prices and Seasons Change:

Winter time:
-       carrots, cabbage, onions and meat.
-       In the winter time most fruits and vegetables are available in the stores and not in the piazza.
-       These fruits and vegetables are available in stores: banana, tomatoes, cucumbers, kiwi, watermelon, orange, berries.
-       Prices go up quite a bit in the winter time. An example with tomatoes- in the summer time they are 14 lei per kilogram, and in the winter time they are 22 lei per kilogram.

Summer time:
-       Meat(chicken, pork, beef), cheese, vegetables, fruits, wheat, corn, cereal, milk, eggs, mere, clothes, sour cream, Tvorog, c
-       Clothes, shoes, slippers, sandles, electronics, rugs, furniture,


Family Tree (Host Family):


-       Above is a link I created of my current host family and their family tree.
-       I have not meet most of these people, only a few of them. They do not come visit, the only time I have met anyone is when we go to visit them in other villages.

Contract:

-       I have not sat down and actually revised the contract with my host family. This is planned for when I return to the home after Phase III. The reasoning for this is I was very sick and was not able to eat with my host family so we had to come to compromise about the money situation.
-       I can calculate all my expenses and I have done so. I will be paying on average 2100 lei per month to my host family.


Personal

Values
  • Good heart
  • Driven
  • Hardworking
  • Smart and applies oneself
  • Caring
  • Ability to listen to others thoughts and feelings
  • Ready for change
  • Willingness to work together
  • Respect

Aspirations
  • Learning about the alcoholism and drug abuse in Moldova
  • Understanding the needs of my center
  • Teach my partner about treatment planning and effectively evaluating children’s needs, along with the idea of confidenality.
  • Spead peace and friendship to my community and give them a better understanding of who I am as an American.
  • Fight the compelling thoughts of thinking that Americans are lazy, and worthless.
  • Start and be successful at an English and debate club.

** I don’t believe people can have the same aspirations as each other, however to find a person that has the same values as me is another story. To do this I believe the people will come to you, because they will see what you are doing in the community and are will to discuss with you, give you a chance and take a step forward in recognizing your wants and needs. I believe my partner can be one of these people, she has a very kind heart, and is a very driven young woman.


Language
  • Participating in 12 hours of tutoring per month that is allowed by Peace Corps.
  • I set personal goals for myself to practice on my struggling areas.
  • Talking daily with my host family and partner in Romanian to practice and keep the words stuck in head.
  • Interacting with children in my center and talking with them in Romanian to practice on speed.
  • Learning slang that is used by other languages to understand simplicity.

Health
  • My health has not been the best since I have arrived in my village. I have went to the doctor on three different occasions. Had trouble with my gal bladder, Giarida, and a number of other things.
  • I have been on medication for around two months now to try and subside everything.
  • To keep myself healthy I make sure to wash all my fruits and vegetables in my distilled water.
  • I distill water twice a week for a total of eight liters of water. On top of distilling I filter my water again, and it’s always reboiled when I have coffee.
  • I don’t eat anything that Peace Corps tells me not to, and I am very strict with my host mother about a good healthy diet.
  • Oil is not allowed in my foods, and if it is necessary then I place the oil myself and its only is small portions.
  • Being a huge advocate for myself, for instance letting my host mother that washing the dishes with soap is a must. I have now gotten to the point of washing everything myself, so I know its clean and soap has been used.

Challenges:
  • Adjusting to a new community and people.
  • Being and outcast and criticized.
  • Learning a new language.
  • Being on every ones radar and talked about.
  • Rumors in the village causing problems in my host family.
  • Struggles with my hosts families way of living and being yelled at.
  • Not working in my center for over a month and when I am working there my director is to busy to visit the center to get any work accomplished.
  • Being treated like a child that doesn’t know anything, and also being underminded.
  • Being depressed on the lack of work and effectiveness in my community

Overcoming Challenges(Going in order from challenges)
  • Talking with everyone and being respectful when I cross paths with people. Also every time I go into a store I make sure to tell them good afternoon and talk to them about their day. Also with my center I am very interactive with everyone that works there, along with the children. I have been complimented by many people in my center and in my village on being so talkative with others and they respect that.
  • I tried to ignore when people talk about me, but I have now taking the iniative to talk with people about how it makes me feel when they criticize me and how that’s not respectful.
  • Practicing Romanian is very important to me, and I have been trying very hard to get it down perfect. Using my tutor is a huge success.
  • I try not to do anything that will draw attention to myself, I go and do my job, interact with people, and not allow the small things bother me, and if they do I talk with my friends and family about it.
  • With the rumors in my host family I literally had to sit down and have a three hours conversation with my host mom explaining to her the importance of talking to me first when she hears rumors, and how important it is that she doesn’t talk about me. I need to be treated the same in the family.
  • When I was being yelled at by my host mom for a variety of reasons, one was because I wasn’t walking fast enough for her. I explained to her that it wasn’t my fault she was late, and I don’t want to be yelled at. I am very vocal about my needs as a human being.
  • When my center was on vacation, I tried to interact in my community as much as  I could. Which wasn’t hard because many kids were back home on vacation. I hung out with many of them along with my host sister, she would take me to the lake and the local disco. Finally when school started on September 1st, it gave me something to do for 15 days while I was waiting for the center to open. I was able to observe English classes and get ideas on how to start my English clubs and what would be beneficial.
  • Being treated like a child has been very difficult to overcome. Really I haven’t figured this one out quite yet and I am not sure I really ever will.
  • The lack of work and the effectiveness really bothers me. I try to keep myself busy but I am not very motivated at this point until I see some of my partners wanting to get some work done. Its impossible to do it on my own. This also will take much time to conquer.

Progress
  • Advances in Romanian
  • Relationships Developed
  • Understanding my family and their culture
  • Cooking with my host family and being successful
  • Knowing my village and how to get around
  • Having a daily conversation with my partner at the center
  • Seeing a child smile when they are around me
  • My host sister telling me how much she admires me
  • Kids at the school asking about me when I am not around and how they wish I was there
  • 5th grade class begging me to watch them dance
  • Getting invited over to other peoples houses for dinner
  • Simply making it another day in Moldova

Skills
  • Alcohol and Drug Related Problems
  • Socially vulnerable difficulties
  • Treatment Planning
  • Groups: Domestic Violence, Self-Esteem
  • Surveys-Sociological

Skills Needed:
  • Grant writing
  • Accounting
  • Assessing needs of community




Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Trust in each step you take...

I believe all things in life are created for a reason.. Or at least that was how I was raised and brought up to believe in... My faith has never steered me in the wrong direction, even in my toughest times... This is something I continue to tell my self as I take my journey here in Moldova..

These past couple of weeks have been heart-aching, frustrating, rewarding, and every other emotion across the board.. Reality is I have yet to know why I am in Moldova. Days go by and sometimes I get a glimpse of why I am here, and a tug of my heart to let me know I am alive and well.. However, I am beginning to wonder when does it become clear?

Before I came to Moldova I was living what I would call a perfect life... at least for me... Working three jobs: 1. Drug Counselor, 2. Kickboxing Instructor, 3. Waitress. While at the same time having my own place, my own car, my friends and family.. and yes of course a boyfriend...(for a while at least).  This life brought me frustrations in its own, most of them I created for myself, others I truly believe are what kept me growing.. As I was going through my daily life, I kept believing in my heart that something was truly missing, and really I can't even pinpoint what that was at this moment. Over a year ago when I signed up for Peace Corps I truly believed that I hadn't given enough to the world in which I lived in, and I needed to give more of myself to make me happy... In reality I think I was just trying to create happiness within myself, and helping others doesn't always fulfill that need... Because honestly it can cause more stress then good sometimes..

As I am sitting on my bed here in Moldova at 12:03am in the morning my mind is blank, tears are swelling behind my eyes, my heart feels as if it doesn't want to beat any longer... Really I can't describe why I feel this way, or what I should do next... However I had this feeling before... It was around the exact same time, when I went to the mail box after a night out with my best friend Sarah.. We had enjoyed sushi at our favorite place "Taki," martinis, and a night out at Mickeys... As the night ended I drove home in my car anticipating my letter from Peace Corps would be awaiting me, the letter I had been waiting for.. the letter that took almost a year to come.... As I rushed to the mail box, scrambling through each letter.. I finally had it, the letter I had been waiting for.. I couldn't wait to open it, couldn't wait to find out my destiny, my happiness, my fate... As I began to read: Dear Ms. Frits, I am sorry to inform you but you have been placed on medical hold for one year, due to your information that you had provided to us.... My heart stopped, I couldn't breath, the only thing I could do was cry... I reached for my phone, called my best friend Sarah... and did nothing but sob to my friend for over an hour.. I felt like my life was ruined, I never had been more ashamed of myself in all of my life..

As I sit here today and wonder why I had those feeling of shame.... I have found the answer... Each struggle that has came into my life.. every disapointment.. I have always overcame everything and proven everyone wrong.. Why?? Because I am stubborn, and I have always felt let down by others, and with not getting into Peace Corps I felt like I was letting down my family.. That my family would be ashamed of me, because I couldn't have something I wanted so bad... It was my first time I was truly facing failure, the first time I was not able to get what I wanted...

Of course what did I do?? I fought... fought like hell, and I won! As Peace Corps told me over the phone its very unlikely that you can get us to change our minds, but you can sure try... I took that as a challenge, and I went above and beyond... I knew in my heart that anything I set my mind too, could be accomplished, and I knew I had to get rid of this heartaching feeling.. This feeling that was destroying me.. It was too the point that my roommate at the time "Bryan," would say to me.. "Jamie your not yourself, and I don't like it." You need to find something that will make you happy again...

But now that I have what I thought I wanted.. What I thought would make me happy... And in reality has done nothing but disappoint me.. give me bad self-esteem, and bad health... I am lost, and I can't believe "I, Jamie Frits, am saying this to the whole world right now." But my heart hurts again, it feels like it has stopped beating, I am so unhappy... I have always been a very motivated young woman, that wanted to work, to the point that I worked three jobs just for fun and averaged four hours of sleep a night, and I never cared! And now its hard for me to get to work for four hours a day.. I find that quite pathetic of myself...

As for my self-esteem I always felt like a pretty awesome person back home, many people respected me, told me I encouraged them on a daily basis.. and in my village what I get most days... well I get called fat, and told I shouldn't eat....  Or I get a man walking up to me saying "What your an American.. GROSS... as he grabs me, and says this is exactly what I mean, your fat and disgusting, just like all Americans.." I have never felt more ashamed of myself, and the normal response I would of had when I had true confidence, I could of stood up for myself, thinking I should really show this man who I was as a person, but all I could say is I am happy to be an American, and in reality I could talk about Moldova with you, but I won't and walked away...

Beyond that I get to experience my host mom and host sister crying and confronting me about moving out with another host family, when in reality I never asked for that.. All I want is to live on my own and be healthy.. Then it turns into my host mom telling me she needs more money from me, more then I have in my budget, and giving me a guilt trip saying that she turned down a young boy to live with her for me... and now I want to live on my own... I don't even have word to describe how that felt...  At the same time I am getting mixed feelings from my host sister saying "Jamie your the most encouraging, happy, smart, interesting, motivating young woman I have ever met... And this is where the confusion falls into place."

I feel as if I am an outcast.. I don't belong here.. But yet I am stubborn and feel as if I am supposed to be here, if I am supposed to help out in some shape or form. Yet, I have no proof, I have no clearance, I have no safe zone, and especially I have no motivation or self-esteem.. "I want to be me again.."

And with wanting to me again.. I am hearing the same voices.. the same words.. "Jamie you are not yourself, and you need to find what makes you happy."

Something lead me to this journey... my heart drove me to Moldova... my own feet walked through each challenge to get here, and now I am doubting myself... Was this impulsive? What this a mistake? Or was this God's way of showing me a new light, in which I have not found yet..

Trust in each step you take... whether its only a few forward, I have to know that in the four months I have been here, I have changed, maybe not for the better, but this is and was a learning experience for me and I have to TRUST that it will lead me to the next step to happiness..

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Things that make me smile...

As I have spent the last 4 days in the city of Chisinau my mind begins to drift in many directions... Positives ones at that... During my time here in Moldova my body has went through some difficult changes in the since of my health.. I don't always feel the best in the inside, but I always try to show that I am feeling great on the outside.. I always tell myself who would ever want to be around a downer.. For sure not me..

Recently the doctor told me that my condition wasn't getting any better and that I need to have blood tests drawn and also an ultra sound done... This may not sound like a scary thing, however it really was to me.. and all I really wanted was the comfort of my family... my friends, and all the amazing people that make me whole back home...

However, as someone recently said to me in the last few days "Jamie when life gives you lemons, you can always make lemonade." This person really put confidence in my soul, as she expressed to me that I am a strong hearted woman, and she knew this from the day she heard me talk during PST.

Just the simplicity of being heard and knowing that I am respected in this country.. Is truly enough for me.. Which to second that, a girl that I have become very close to over the past 3 months also expressed to me how strong she thought I was, and how she could see this the first time she met me.. These type of words are what help me through each day, and put a smile on my face..

Moldova may of not made my health the greatest, I can say that I have built some great friendships along the way... This past weekend I went back to visit my host family in Stauceni... This is always an exciting and fulfilling time for me... The "Titco family," is the most caring people I have ever met and are always there to sit with me, talk about my feelings and are always encouraging.. My host mom Caroline and host sister Katya knew I was struggling with some feelings, and they sat there and told me how smart, beautiful and perfect I was. It was a really kind thing of them to do, and made me feel so much better.. I haven't really wanted or recieved many hugs while in Moldova, but this family is always there to smother me with hugs and kisses from the time I step in their front gate.. Along with that I have Nichole screaming from the house "JAMIE!!!!" Which is honestly the BEST thing I can say about Moldova so far, is the impact that this young man has had on me. He is so bright! Nichole and I have just clicked from day one...

Also this weekend I was invited over to my Bunicul and Buncia's house in Stauceni for lunch. We enjoyed some vegteable salad, chicken, bread, watermelon, grapes, wine, chocolate and champange. It was so inspiring to sit there and reminicse about my thoughts and feelings about Moldova, and to feel like I was part of a family.. My Bunicul even invited me to go pick grapes with him while I am back for 2 weeks for Phase 3 for Peace Corps!! We are even going to make some wine!! Pretty exciting for me.. Just being included, accepted and talked to like a human being is so rewarding, and I truly couldn't ask for anything more. God has put this family into my life while I am in Moldova for a reason, they are a huge part of what drives me to stay in Moldova and want to continue to do great things. This family will be the hardest thing to say goodbye to while I am here..

Another awesome experience I have had this past weekend was staying in TDY.. What is this place? Well its the medical unit for Peace Corps.. Yes I know it doesn't sound all that great, and you are probably saying why in the world would that be fulfilling.. Well in fact there were 3 other volunteers with me in this medical unit. We made spaghetti together, watched a movie, and just talked about our feelings in Moldova, our frustrations, our joys, and everything in between. The hardest thing about a new place is going through new challenges, but whats even better about it is knowing that I am not alone in my new struggles...

There are many rewards to come in my two year service.. I can feel them, and not only can I feel them but I can clearly see them just by the strength I am having through these hard times... And really the friendships and the new family members are all I really need to say I was successful here...

As the person I quoted before "When life gives you lemons Jamie, I know you could make lemonade." At this point Moldova has given me: gal bladder problems, vomiting, stomach cramping, nausea,Giardia(George), constipation, blood tests, ultra sound, and three chipped teeth...

But in return I have recieved: New amazing friends, family, romanian language, a stronger heart, more respect for my country and Moldovans, some cooking skills, a chance to voice my thoughts and feelngs about drug and alcohol abuse in Moldova, a chance to help others, a voice to talk with children about their family and abandonment struggles, encouragement, patience, self relfection, self respect, and overall it has given me an experience that most will never have.

I love my country.. I love Moldova... and I look forward to the good and bad that I will endure over the next two years.. For now I will say Moldova has given me more GOOD then bad.. and I will continue moving forward...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Heading into my 3rd month in Moldova and 1st complete month in Village.



There are many ways people approach description of there lives. Some people are positive, some negative, some angry, and some a little bit of everything... Of course the description that I choose for my self to describe my character as a being is a little bit of everything.. I truly believe as a person that each one of us experience every emotion daily, however many people ignore the warning signs of these emotions.. I usually take each emotion head on and trying to depict its true message....

Writing about my first three months is very difficult, because I don't think any human being would understand the simplicity of my thoughts and emotions, let alone keep up with them. However as I approach my first full month in my village from the dates of August 5, 2011 to September 5, 2011. There are many things that have crossed my path... I hope by the time your done reading this blog that you will be able to feel what I feel here in my village..

Daily life:
From the minute I wake up my mind is constantly stirring, pondering about what each move I should make. Living in a new family and a new country is very stressful on my daily life. Because its not like back home where I could feel comfortable walking around in my Pajamas, talking to my family, or even the simplicity of walking out my bedroom door..  From the time my eyes open I know I have a full days of work ahead of me.. not just hard labor, but more mind labor and being able to adequately handle my stress... The first step off my bed tells me every day that I face a new challenge, another day, unknown of what may happen or be said...With these emotions I slowly get ready for the day ahead.. thinking about the questions that need to be ask in the proper verbs of romanian, and how I will approach each member of my family today, along with people that I meet on the streets... 

Please allow yourself to think about all the people you know, and whether your like or dislike them.. The ones we like we talk to, the ones we dislike we avoid.. However my experience here in Moldova is I don't have a choice and I need to talk to all people no matter if I like or dislike them, because I am here to spread Peace and Friendship, and its difficult to do that if you aren't polite to all people... Not only politeness, but also recognizing that every time I open my mouth about something in my life, it only takes around 30 minutes for about 20 other people to know and my host mom confronting about the issue.. And example about this is my director asked me how my life was going with my new host family. I expressed everything was fine, however my host dad rarely talks to me and I am not sure why or how to approach something so different... Well needless to say that evening my host mom and dad were confronting me with choice words about this situation.. I had never felt so attacked in my life, and all I really could say was I am sorry, because with the romanian that I had it wasn't going to get the message across... And in reality I was curious, not mad or upset about him not talking with me, but more so intrigued to find out further information.. A lesson learned for myself to never talk to locals about my personal life or home life, everything needs to be kept to self....

With my days I spend most of my time walking around my village, integrating, saying good afternoon to everyone, have small conversations about my plans for today... Most days I am at the center working with my partner and the children, however currently I am on vacation from there so I am spending my days at the school with my language instructor, helping out in English classes, and trying to integrate myself so I can begin my own english clubs and see the needs of the community.

Currently everyone my age is no longer in my village because they are all at the university in the cities. I mostly see children 14-18 years of age and not going to lie but I am not interested in hanging out with minors, which also makes my life a little more difficult. So I spend most of my nights at home enjoying a movie, reading a books, searching the internet, or doing what I am now writing in my blog and expressing my inner feelings.


Emotions:

Currently though I have some things hindering my work and progress in my village. I have been sick for a couple weeks now and have a terrible parasite(Giaridia) that I contracted through the food and water, or even possible to contract from another person that is infected touching me. I am hoping it will be gone in a month with medication. It is normal for volunteers to get this particular parasite, however can be chronic as well. The conditions in which I live in don't make the situation any better and if I do get rid of it, more likely then not it will return. In contrast with the parasite, I am having gal bladder issues, which makes it very difficult to digest any foods, so I have to be very careful on what I am eating.. I may need to have surgery. The issues arose from the high content of oil in the foods here in Moldova.... If I have surgery I have to come home... Here is the website
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giardia

My Parasite


However with being on vacation and away from my center, I believe this has affected my mindset about my life and why I am a volunteer. It is very difficult to be in my room most of the day doing nothing, and thinking about my productive and busy life back home. I feel useless most days, and often have this question come through my head "why am I wasting my time doing nothing, when I could be helping save lives back home?" Never in my life would I find myself with down time, because as we know myself back home I would always work 2-3 jobs in one day and keep myself very active with my friends. In Moldova its a very lax place and has affected me emotionally and physically, I am hoping my ambitions with a english and debate club will help settle these emotions for me..

To sum up my emotions the best word I can find to describe them is a whirlwind. Most days its hard to collect what I am feeling, let alone describing it to another person. Some days I feel like I can conquer the world and feel empowered to be a volunteer. Other days I hate being in my village, hate being in Moldova and just want to give up and go home.. This emotions are brought on by new people, not being accepted, being judge, being criticized, and everything else an alien would experience in a new place. This really weighs on me and some days I rather just stay in my room and isolate myself... I am hoping this to will pass in time, recognizing its only been three months, however I am hoping my body gives me more then that here in Moldova.


Keeping myself busy....

I am helping out with a group called "Rise." This group is for socially vulnerable children and many of them are from what we would call in America "Gypsies." However here in Moldova they are called Roma. Anyhow with having little money and unable to supply for the children, this group I am in provide opportunities and awareness for them. Also we recently did a "Roma Boot Drop," in the village of Minjir. Which we supplied 60 of these children boots to wear in the winter and summer. Therefore they don't have to get frost bite or walk on the muddy streets barefoot. It is a very fulfilling and heart warming group and has impacted me a lot in a little amount of time.

Also I am starting my masters program this winter. I am getting a Masters in Criminal Justice from Boston University. I am very excited about this program and should be able to complete it in 1 year to 18 months. I figured on my free time when I am feeling down and depressed and worthless, which is the majority of the time, I can work on my homework, knowing that this is another accomplishment under my belt for when I return to the great states :)

I am also joining a group called GLOW its a group that is organized for young women and to provide encouragement and empowerment! Along with Moldova TIP- which is a group that focuses on awareness of human trafficking and helping bring awareness to communities in need.

Romanian lessons with Ina Porubin. Ina has been my language instructor for 3 months now, and currently I am doing 12 hours of tutoring a month with her. She is an amazing teacher and has really helped me to grow in my community and feeling comfortable about myself and my language abilities. Not only that Ina has really been a voice with me with the children in the school and making it known of my abilities as a drug counselor. She has also voiced for me if anyone has any problems that they want to talk about that I am always available!  She is a blessing in disguise not only with my language abilities and knowing now I can hold a conversation in this complex language, however I also know I am building a great friendship with her as well!


Ina and her daughter!

Ina and I on the first day of school.

You know your in Moldova when:

1. I wake up to roosters crowing and they don't stop until I go to bed again..
2. I walk out my front door and there are pigs, geese, ducks, rabbits, dogs, chickens and a million and 1 flies!
3. The kitchen is full of dirty pans, meat lying on the floor uncovered, food from the week before still in the pan, and soap no where to be found...
4. I get yelled at in romanian for not walking fast enough, when I wasn't the one who was late.
5. When I can look at my front window at my host dad making home made wine.
6. Everyone knows my name in my village and my life story in America.
7. Horse and buggies coming down the street.
8. I almost get ran over by goats every morning and evening after they come back from their daily feeding...
9. My host mom tries to convince me expired milk is good for you and it makes excellent biscuits.
10. When my host mom tells me that soap is not needed just rinse it under brown water..
11. That I am convinced that the guts of the fish are the best part to eat...
12. I have officially seen a pigs neck slattered...
13. That I don't think about going to the outhouse now, its just a habit, and learning how to squat to go to the bathroom is second nature...
14. My feet will never be clean for the next two years from the dirt roads.. I never knew I was able to form a callus until moving here..
15. The only form of transportation for me out of my village is a bus, or hitch hiking, and lately the only thing I do is hitch hike, because most days the bus decides not to come...
16. When the best part of my day is when I go for a run...
17. I get the evil eye when I drank cold water, have my hair wet, or use my fan...(People believe in the current here in Moldova and having a fan enhances the current, and having cold water hurts your throat and makes you sick, along with wet hair is a greater chance of making you sick..)
18. Hearing daily about how people in America are so rich....
19. Being called the "American," verses Jamie...
20. Taking a sun shower(water is outside of the house, and is heated up by the sun, overall a more efficient way to save money."
21. I have to distill and filter my water for it to be safe to drank.
22. I take a bath in water that looks like it came from the puddle outside...
23. There are rugs all over the floors and walls( this is used for decorating along with covering up some older parts of the homes).
24. Every where you go you will see drunken people on the streets(its normal to have a beer at 6am..)
25. Overall I know when I am in Moldova when my whole life is different!
My dirty feet! YUMMY!



Our wine maker..

My host dad at his birthday..