Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Eu sint voluntara in Corpul Pacii.... I am a volunteer in Peace Corps


Nu vorbesc romaneste… In our American words this simply means I don’t speak Romanian. Which is how I feel everyday when I am approached on the street, at school, at the market on the corner, or even doing something simple such as buying a pair of jeans.. My American ways have cultivated me into something that is stereotypical. Reality is hitting me when I have only understood, and lived one way for so long, that adjusting to anything new is scary and challenging.. Everyday I ask my self why am I not scared? Homesick? Sad? And I have yet to find this answer.. Going on my third week in a Moldovan community the only things I can answer is what verza is.. which is cabbage… and how to introduce myself…

Eu sint Jamie, Eu sint din America, din Iowa. Am absoulvit universitatea de stat din Iowa. Eu am grad in sociologiea si criminolgiea. Eu sint voluntara in Corpul Pacii in programul dezvolutare comunitar. In Moldova eu locuiesc in Stauceni.

Which all this means I am Jamie, I am from America, from Iowa. I graduated college at Iowa State with a degree in sociology and criminology. I am a volunteer in Peace Corps in the community and organizational development program. In Moldova I live in Stauceni.

Confusion is the midst of the great endeavors in life.. However what does a person do when they are thrown a challenge and the only way to respond is with words.. Yet knowing that the words I express are not taken lightly here, and my every move, thought, or blink of an eye is being watched at all times.. Its like I am a fish in a bowl and thousands of people are starring.. imagine being in that bowl with a new creature, and realizing the only way to survive is through courtesy , patience and forgiveness…  With being an observant creature, I have saw the context of moldovans and can say judgement is politeness here and means no harm, however some of the experiences I have received in my american lifestyle judgement hurts, and is looked down upon. 

With the words one describes in America, may not have the same meaning in Moldova.. Which one is right or wrong? In my conclusion neither are right nor wrong... As a traveler of many countries I have had the chance to develop a great respect for others, and their cultural ways.. However I can simply say I am far from perfect and can not say that I don't get frustrated because I sure do.. This week in language has been difficult for me... so many verbs, conjugations, items... its hard to keep everything together.. I often find myself saying "Why did I do Peace Corps?" To simply find the answer of: I love the experience I am getting, I am in need of this true awakening and fulling life!! But to my friends and family back home I want to say these words.. Peace Corps was the hardest thing I ever had to commit too... With all the paperwork I filled out(over 90 pages), the stress it put on me physically and the duration of time I waited to begin this journey. I can honesty and respectfully say "it was worth the wait." 

But I can also express that Peace Corps is not for everyone.. and I constantly get the question of "Why the heck would you ever do that!" Well.. I don't have the answer, but I can put it in a scenario that everyone can feel...  "Think of something you truly love and admire, something that makes you smile and feel worthy, something that is new and challenging every day, think of being able to adjust to a whole new lifestyle and enjoying every step..." Whats your answer?? Mine is helping other people... And I will do this for 27 months.. I will make it every step of the way...

Thank you to everyone in my life who encourages me every day.. 

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The friendships and heartaches and the first tear shed

As I lie awake at night, day dream in class, and reminisce about my life on my walks to and from school I have realized the impact each volunteer has made on my life in just two short weeks. With remembering the tears that were shed the days before I left America, I realized they were tears of happiness and the love I feel for my friends and family. However, when I hung up the phone on my thirteen day in Moldova and a tear was running down my face from some devastating and heart aching news from one of my closest volunteers I realized the impact that these wonderful people have already had on me... I truly thought I would shed my first tears over missing Iowa, missing America, missing my wonderful friends and family, however reality has once again shocked me and made me realize how much I needed Peace Corps and how much I need this experience.

Every day its hard to believe I am living in a foreign place, with unfamiliar people surrounded by straight faces, and delicate hearts. I have came to believe that the hard exterior I try to portray is far from anything of who I am. Moldova has begun to mold me into a woman of faith, belief, love, and true thoughts. These thoughts that I can call my own, not that someone else has created for me. I am survivor and I am a believer that all things happen for a reason, and that the true struggles I or anyone here in Moldova has can be conquered and each one of us will succeed and meet our true expectations of ourselves. For the volunteer this applies to, know always that God never leads us in the wrong direction, but only guides us to our greatest lights.

Monday, June 20, 2011

My first week in Moldova

Words cant describe what its like to wake up in a new country.. with a new family.. new friends.. and not being able to speak the language... Living in Moldova has made me find my voice in a new light.. As well all know I love to talk and joke around.. However every time I have tried to do that its all been like a mime.. The silent Jamie has been revealed.. My host family is great.. Nick my host brother has really grown on me.. He stands about 4 feet tall and is 7 years old.. We enjoy many nights together where we do different taekwondo moves. As for my host sister Catea she is 23 and is exactly like me.. She speaks some english.. We have had many exciting evenings together talking about her Romanian boyfriend and the life as a Moldovan woman. It has been prevailed to me that we as Americans are not different then Moldovans.. Its just the different beliefs, likes, dislikes, cultures, and values that separate us. She has truly taught me a lot about myself.

As for my lovely host mother Caroline, she is the most kind, hospitable person I have ever met.. Even though we can not speak to each other, our slight exchange in words, and gestures does us well. She makes me smile every day and makes me feel more then welcome in her home. Her husband Peter(my host father) is very quite and shy, however I got to experience photo viewing with him. He opened up to me on a sunny day and was talking about his time with the Soviet Union and how it was foarte greu(very hard) and how America was (este reu) which means very bad. However before anyone gets offended I have to let you know Peter loves to glumesc(joke). So we were having a good time, and it was incredible to see the pictures from that time. Those are moments that many will not get to experience and times I will forever cherish.

Above I have only went in little detail about my host family. But I want to really express the love I have for Moldova. Every day I walk to school thinking about my life and cherishing these moments. There are many things I have taken for granted such as tap water, a place to sleep, money, a great job.. And there are many in other countries that do not have it as well as I did in America. So I will say in the beginning of my Peace Corps journey... I am happy.. and I am proud I took this journey.