Through out the month of October my heart has been filled with darkness, sorrow, happiness and joy. The extremes of what my life contains are more then I have ever imagined.
In the beginning of this last month the connections I made with Junebug aka Wendy Bigbie was one of the most rewarding feelings I have had in the past five months. Actually a sense of worth and freedom, and most of all the beginning feeling of accomplishment. I believe these feelings are very vital to life, existence and happiness. Especially for me as a human being, I am very difficult to understand, and even more difficult to please in a work setting. With reality I have always been such a hard worker, needing to do everything my way- not to be selfish.. but so I know it’s done right, and to know and see that there are results at the end of the day.. even if it’s just a smile..
With the Junebug project it allows me to see long term happiness, connection, and a better life. This plan with Junebug and Pentru Tine is to provide around 200 children with new jackets, clothes and hats. Not only that but Wendy has generously took on the mission of 1 for 1. For every dress or clothing item that Junebug sells she will be donating one item to the children in my center. This project not only will put smiles on these children’s faces, it will bring them more opportunities within themselves and in their communities.. “As for my last statement I am sure many of you are thinking why would a jacket and a few items help change Moldovan children’s lives… I can’t explain the heart aching feelings that I see and feel every day…. But I do know what the truth is, which is this 1) Moldovan children don’t always go to school because of not having adequate clothing to wear such as jackets, hats and gloves. They make the decision to not go to school with knowing that their classrooms with be just as cold as the tempatures outside. 2) Many of the children’s parents don’t work due to alcoholism, unavailability of jobs, poverty, or illness. 3) Many children will never own a new clothing item in their lives due to their social situation. 4) Overall these children do not, and will not always have materials in their lives to always make them successful. However, as a person with a strong heart, I want to help provide these children with the opportunity of a good education and to advance within themselves to develop a driven mindset.
Here is the information about this projects! PLEASE DONATE!!
Email: helpingiargara@gmail.com
Email: helpingiargara@gmail.com
Blog: www.alongcameajunebugpentrutine.blogspot.com
Facebook: Pentru Tine Meets June Bug
 |
| Wendy and her family! |
As for the beginning of my sports club I have really found myself becoming more comfortable with my village and the relationships I have with the young women. With being a kickboxing instructor at Farrell’s for the past couple of years I have really developed a strong desire to accomplish great things, along with a motivation to encourage others to go beyond a level ten. With the language barrier I have with the women in my club I find myself struggling sometimes with being able to give proper instructions, but have also recognized a lot of encouragement is universal. Clapping my hands, yelling, or simply doing each exercise with them has really helped the women progress. I would have to say starting my sports club was the best decision thus far.
 |
| Official Members Of the First Sports Club In Iargara, Moldova! Monday, Wednesday and Friday 3:30-4:30pm |
Ultimately I have began to look at my life as a Peace Corps Volunteer and really examine my thoughts and believes about my current life. The position I put myself in to be here is something I question every day. Which I don’t believe is a bad thing, and in reality I know and believe that each volunteer does the same thing. Living in Moldova may be fun sometimes, but also can be heart aching at other times.. Which brings me to the experience with my past host mother and the adventure of moving out…
On October 25, 2011 is when I had decided to tell my host mother Doama Vera about my wanting to live in a house by myself, and that I would be leaving one week from this date. As these words come out of my mouth my host mother’s eyes become fierce, with showing nothing but anger.. My heart begins to race, my body begins to feel tense as I realize that nothing good is going to come out of this situation… I find myself heading back to my room, locking my door, and afraid of what will happen that evening or simply in the week ahead.. As I awake the next morning to my host mother screaming at her family and her husband(about what, really I have no clue), was the beginning of what my week would look like ahead. Every day since Tuesday the 25th I would hear screaming in the morning, music blaring, and noticing that these actions had a lot of do with me, or as I thought(due to them not happening much before the talk). As I venture off to work each day I am constantly bombarded by several people asking me “did you tell Doamna Vera about moving, and contionously asking me to not mention any ones names that helped me with this move.” These actions and instances made me realize the reputation my host mother has in her village, and how many people are afraid of her, including myself. Also recognizing the power she has with her friends in the community. I had two older ladies that would greet me every day on my walk to work, and would ask how I am doing. These two women were very close to my host mother. On Wednesday the 26th I was heading to work as normal, and recognized that the two ladies whom I thought liked me, wouldn't even acknowledge my presence. Not a positive feeling to say the least.
In which that week continued with my host mom avoiding me at all costs, refusing to make dinner for me, having her daughter associate with me verses herself, talking bad about me to her friends, yelling and being rude to my language tutor, bringing issues to my director and colleague at my center, and most of making me feel like I am nothing, and the most unwanted person in her home. As I described this instance to many of my friends and family at home, I expressed that I have never in my life felt so hurt, betrayed, belittled and disgusted with not understanding how any woman would want to treat a person (me) in such horrible way. I guess the saying of "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger," is how I will approach this time in my life.
As for my position and feeling right now, I can say that my life feels 100% better. I am living in a casa mica and the only person in my home is ME. I do have a new host mom that lives in another house in the same yard. However, this woman “Doamna Catea,” is the most kind and giving woman. She has gone out of her way to make me feel comfortable and is never over bearing. It really has helped my attitude and heart feel more at ease with Moldova. I thank her for that.
My New Home
Describing my new living situations.
 |
| My old-fashioned stove |
- I have a fridge and a stove
- My stove has a gas tank that I need to turn on and off every time I use it.
- I have to wash all my dishes in a bucket.
- To bathe I need to use a bucket, or go to my center and shower there, because I have no running water, or a place to take a bath.
- If I want water I need to walk to the nearest well and fill my bucket up to bring back home.
- To keep warm I have a soba- in which my host mom puts wood in every evening, and in turn will heat the wall to my room. In reality it works great!! Beside the carbon monoxide scares that I have had.
- I have a queen size bed for once and it is comfortable!!
- Internet all to my self, and even have WI-FI.
- All my dishes are clean, because I CLEAN them with soap.
- If I want to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I better be ready for the cold temperatures, because we only have an out-house.
- My outhouse actually has a built in seat, so no more aiming for a whole in the ground, and I have to say this is quite a luxury!!
- I live 7 minutes or so away from my center, 2 minutes away from the market, 3 minutes away from my Moldovan work partners home and 4 minutes away from the school and my sports club!
- And overall I am very happy with my new home!
 |
| Kitchen |
 |
| Bedroom |
Plans For The Future
With being followers of my blog you may remember me mentioning that my center “Pentru Tine,” has a good chance of closing in March 2012 due to financial struggles. Due to this news I have been working my tail off to try and find different ways to save my center and make it a more stable foundation. Currently what I am working on with my partner is putting together information to participate in the Peace Corps Partnership program. I have attached a link to this blog so you can better understand on what exactly this is.
With not knowing who my partner will be for sure, I rather not mention any names until things are well on it’s way. However I can say that my partner, colleagues, and the children in the center have all been participating in this adventure with me. I am very hopeful to succeed in this partnership, and teach the Moldovan’s in my community about long standing partnerships and good financial states.
Here is the website:
To end this blog I wanted to share a story with you that recently broke my heart and really put me in a tough position. I came across this information while discussing with my partner about the necessary needs for the troubled children in my center to have a counselor to turn to.. I am sure it will hurt your heart as much as it hurts mine.
The 12 year old woman that is lost…..
Three years ago the Center of Pentru Tine opened up to the village of Iargara, Moldova. Around two hundred children would soon be provided for and have a chance to have enjoy themselves and fell like kids again. There was one special young woman that came to the center at this time, she was around nine years old. Many of the workers at the center noticed this young woman was very shy and distance from other children. Yet there was something particular about this young woman, it was her distance from her family, her home, and her self.
Every night when the center would close around 5pm the workers would ask the children if they were going home for the night, the majority of them would say yes and would be on their way. This young woman would often say No she wasn’t going home, and most likely wouldn't that evening. As the days passed this trend kept happening. The workers in the center could no longer tolerate this and decided to take a walk to the home of this young woman. To their surprise they find the mother of this child so drunk that she couldn’t even tell the workers who she was or who her boyfriend was at that time. The mother of this young woman has severe alcoholism and continues to drink every evening. Not only does this woman drink all day and evening, she will invite several different men to her home and the majority of the time can’t even tell others who they are. As we would say this woman has a bouquet of boyfriends, one for each day of the week. This made everything more clear for the workers in the center on why the young woman never wanted to go home, with finding out that there is no place for her to sleep, there is no electricity, no water, no place to bathe, and most of all no one to love her or make her feel wanted.
The workers of the center would offer their homes to this young woman, and even offer the shower and facilities at the center to her. Day to day she would deny these offerings and would stick by her mother. Never once did this young woman reveal what is going on at home, and will not speak a word about it until this day. It is only until the workers of the center went to her house that they realized the situation in which this woman has every day of her life.
As days and years pass, the situation for this woman continues to get worse. As she continues to come to the center each year, new disasters and troubles have arisen in her home. One day this young woman came to the center with a severly beat up wrist. This action was from one of her mothers boyfriends, and with knowing that she could never report this to anyone, she refused to go the hospital, knowing that what awaited for her at home would be much worse if she ever spoke a word of this instance. On another day she came to the center and was hunched over, barely walking and was holding her pelvic area. I don’t believe anyone needs to say more then this child was being raped in her own home from her mothers boyfriends…
Three years passed and now this young woman is 12 years old, she has contiously lived in the same house, seeing her mother drink her self to death every day, seeing new men in her home all the time, seeing these men beat her mother up every time her mother would get pregnant- to the point that one man took a chair and beat her mothers stomach so hard until the baby had died, and worst of all this young woman has now turned herself into a prostitute.
Every day this young woman will come to the center of Pentru Tine to enjoy her day as child, but when the sun goes down, this young twelve year old child turns herself into a shameful, lost young woman seeking attention from older men, due to the situational factors her mother and home has provided her the last years.
This twelve year old woman is lost, forgotten, broken, and most of all tortured within herself every day. My heart goes out to her as I truly recognize the damage that her lifestyle has done to her. The emotional damage her mother and the boyfriends have placed on her mind, the mental damage of being raped and forgotten, the sexual damange of wanting and providing sex at such a young age with the hopes of feeling loved or normal, and the physical damage that this young woman will internally bare the rest of her life.
A twelve year old children living in Moldova has experienced more in three years then most of us will in our whole lives. With knowing that this is something I can relate to, and knowing whole heartedly that I have dedicated my life to helping others, especially in circumstances such as this. I ask you think every day on how you can help others in need, and ways you can help provide a better life for someone else. We as people may not have money to give to others, but we do have love and general positive affection that we can provide. I am asking you today to please do this for at least one person.
This young woman deserves more then life has dealt her, and I hope in my service in my Moldova I will help her find this light.
 |
| Just a reflection on the feelings this story brings to my heart.. |
No comments:
Post a Comment