Heading into my 3rd month in Moldova and 1st complete month in Village.

There are many ways people approach description of there lives. Some people are positive, some negative, some angry, and some a little bit of everything... Of course the description that I choose for my self to describe my character as a being is a little bit of everything.. I truly believe as a person that each one of us experience every emotion daily, however many people ignore the warning signs of these emotions.. I usually take each emotion head on and trying to depict its true message....

Writing about my first three months is very difficult, because I don't think any human being would understand the simplicity of my thoughts and emotions, let alone keep up with them. However as I approach my first full month in my village from the dates of August 5, 2011 to September 5, 2011. There are many things that have crossed my path... I hope by the time your done reading this blog that you will be able to feel what I feel here in my village..

Daily life:

From the minute I wake up my mind is constantly stirring, pondering about what each move I should make. Living in a new family and a new country is very stressful on my daily life. Because its not like back home where I could feel comfortable walking around in my Pajamas, talking to my family, or even the simplicity of walking out my bedroom door..  From the time my eyes open I know I have a full days of work ahead of me.. not just hard labor, but more mind labor and being able to adequately handle my stress... The first step off my bed tells me every day that I face a new challenge, another day, unknown of what may happen or be said...With these emotions I slowly get ready for the day ahead.. thinking about the questions that need to be ask in the proper verbs of romanian, and how I will approach each member of my family today, along with people that I meet on the streets... 

Please allow yourself to think about all the people you know, and whether your like or dislike them.. The ones we like we talk to, the ones we dislike we avoid.. However my experience here in Moldova is I don't have a choice and I need to talk to all people no matter if I like or dislike them, because I am here to spread Peace and Friendship, and its difficult to do that if you aren't polite to all people... Not only politeness, but also recognizing that every time I open my mouth about something in my life, it only takes around 30 minutes for about 20 other people to know and my host mom confronting about the issue.. And example about this is my director asked me how my life was going with my new host family. I expressed everything was fine, however my host dad rarely talks to me and I am not sure why or how to approach something so different... Well needless to say that evening my host mom and dad were confronting me with choice words about this situation.. I had never felt so attacked in my life, and all I really could say was I am sorry, because with the romanian that I had it wasn't going to get the message across... And in reality I was curious, not mad or upset about him not talking with me, but more so intrigued to find out further information.. A lesson learned for myself to never talk to locals about my personal life or home life, everything needs to be kept to self....

With my days I spend most of my time walking around my village, integrating, saying good afternoon to everyone, have small conversations about my plans for today... Most days I am at the center working with my partner and the children, however currently I am on vacation from there so I am spending my days at the school with my language instructor, helping out in English classes, and trying to integrate myself so I can begin my own english clubs and see the needs of the community.

Currently everyone my age is no longer in my village because they are all at the university in the cities. I mostly see children 14-18 years of age and not going to lie but I am not interested in hanging out with minors, which also makes my life a little more difficult. So I spend most of my nights at home enjoying a movie, reading a books, searching the internet, or doing what I am now writing in my blog and expressing my inner feelings.

Emotions:

Currently though I have some things hindering my work and progress in my village. I have been sick for a couple weeks now and have a terrible parasite(Giaridia) that I contracted through the food and water, or even possible to contract from another person that is infected touching me. I am hoping it will be gone in a month with medication. It is normal for volunteers to get this particular parasite, however can be chronic as well. The conditions in which I live in don't make the situation any better and if I do get rid of it, more likely then not it will return. In contrast with the parasite, I am having gal bladder issues, which makes it very difficult to digest any foods, so I have to be very careful on what I am eating.. I may need to have surgery. The issues arose from the high content of oil in the foods here in Moldova.... If I have surgery I have to come home... Here is the website
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giardia

My Parasite

However with being on vacation and away from my center, I believe this has affected my mindset about my life and why I am a volunteer. It is very difficult to be in my room most of the day doing nothing, and thinking about my productive and busy life back home. I feel useless most days, and often have this question come through my head "why am I wasting my time doing nothing, when I could be helping save lives back home?" Never in my life would I find myself with down time, because as we know myself back home I would always work 2-3 jobs in one day and keep myself very active with my friends. In Moldova its a very lax place and has affected me emotionally and physically, I am hoping my ambitions with a english and debate club will help settle these emotions for me..

To sum up my emotions the best word I can find to describe them is a whirlwind. Most days its hard to collect what I am feeling, let alone describing it to another person. Some days I feel like I can conquer the world and feel empowered to be a volunteer. Other days I hate being in my village, hate being in Moldova and just want to give up and go home.. This emotions are brought on by new people, not being accepted, being judge, being criticized, and everything else an alien would experience in a new place. This really weighs on me and some days I rather just stay in my room and isolate myself... I am hoping this to will pass in time, recognizing its only been three months, however I am hoping my body gives me more then that here in Moldova.

Keeping myself busy....

I am helping out with a group called "Rise." This group is for socially vulnerable children and many of them are from what we would call in America "Gypsies." However here in Moldova they are called Roma. Anyhow with having little money and unable to supply for the children, this group I am in provide opportunities and awareness for them. Also we recently did a "Roma Boot Drop," in the village of Minjir. Which we supplied 60 of these children boots to wear in the winter and summer. Therefore they don't have to get frost bite or walk on the muddy streets barefoot. It is a very fulfilling and heart warming group and has impacted me a lot in a little amount of time.

Also I am starting my masters program this winter. I am getting a Masters in Criminal Justice from Boston University. I am very excited about this program and should be able to complete it in 1 year to 18 months. I figured on my free time when I am feeling down and depressed and worthless, which is the majority of the time, I can work on my homework, knowing that this is another accomplishment under my belt for when I return to the great states :)

I am also joining a group called GLOW its a group that is organized for young women and to provide encouragement and empowerment! Along with Moldova TIP- which is a group that focuses on awareness of human trafficking and helping bring awareness to communities in need.

Romanian lessons with Ina Porubin. Ina has been my language instructor for 3 months now, and currently I am doing 12 hours of tutoring a month with her. She is an amazing teacher and has really helped me to grow in my community and feeling comfortable about myself and my language abilities. Not only that Ina has really been a voice with me with the children in the school and making it known of my abilities as a drug counselor. She has also voiced for me if anyone has any problems that they want to talk about that I am always available!  She is a blessing in disguise not only with my language abilities and knowing now I can hold a conversation in this complex language, however I also know I am building a great friendship with her as well!

Ina and her daughter!

Ina and I on the first day of school.

You know your in Moldova when:

1. I wake up to roosters crowing and they don't stop until I go to bed again..
2. I walk out my front door and there are pigs, geese, ducks, rabbits, dogs, chickens and a million and 1 flies!
3. The kitchen is full of dirty pans, meat lying on the floor uncovered, food from the week before still in the pan, and soap no where to be found...
4. I get yelled at in romanian for not walking fast enough, when I wasn't the one who was late.
5. When I can look at my front window at my host dad making home made wine.
6. Everyone knows my name in my village and my life story in America.
7. Horse and buggies coming down the street.
8. I almost get ran over by goats every morning and evening after they come back from their daily feeding...
9. My host mom tries to convince me expired milk is good for you and it makes excellent biscuits.
10. When my host mom tells me that soap is not needed just rinse it under brown water..
11. That I am convinced that the guts of the fish are the best part to eat...
12. I have officially seen a pigs neck slattered...
13. That I don't think about going to the outhouse now, its just a habit, and learning how to squat to go to the bathroom is second nature...
14. My feet will never be clean for the next two years from the dirt roads.. I never knew I was able to form a callus until moving here..
15. The only form of transportation for me out of my village is a bus, or hitch hiking, and lately the only thing I do is hitch hike, because most days the bus decides not to come...
16. When the best part of my day is when I go for a run...
17. I get the evil eye when I drank cold water, have my hair wet, or use my fan...(People believe in the current here in Moldova and having a fan enhances the current, and having cold water hurts your throat and makes you sick, along with wet hair is a greater chance of making you sick..)
18. Hearing daily about how people in America are so rich....
19. Being called the "American," verses Jamie...
20. Taking a sun shower(water is outside of the house, and is heated up by the sun, overall a more efficient way to save money."
21. I have to distill and filter my water for it to be safe to drank.
22. I take a bath in water that looks like it came from the puddle outside...
23. There are rugs all over the floors and walls( this is used for decorating along with covering up some older parts of the homes).
24. Every where you go you will see drunken people on the streets(its normal to have a beer at 6am..)
25. Overall I know when I am in Moldova when my whole life is different!

My dirty feet! YUMMY!

Our wine maker..

My host dad at his birthday..