Each day that I spend in Moldova my life has changed with each step I take. This month I have had many struggles within myself and with this country. Anyone that ever told you it was easy to pick your life up and place it in a third world country was easy... well they are wrong....
The first couple weeks of December I felt like Moldova was challenging me in every way possible. From getting harrassed by two men on the street of Iargara, having food poisoning, and having an attempted break in to my home. These three things brought so much emotions up in my mind I didn´t know what to do with myself.
Starting with the harrassment. I was walking home from my center on a Monday evening. I noticed that a car was broken down and another man was assisting him. These two men didn´t notice I was American at the time, due to no street lights. However, they did notice that I was carrying a flash light and wanted to use it to fix the car. When I begun to speak they noticed my accent in the romanian language. Right away they wanted to touch me, kiss me and wouldn´t let me go. The men just kept saying to stay with them and that they wanted to talk with me. I expressed continously that someone was waiting for me and that I needed to go.. Finally after twenty minutes the men decided to let go of me and let me walk away. This was a scary day for me, because I felt violated, and scared out of my mind of what would happen next. I am very lucky that these two men didn´t do anything further then put their hands on me and try to kiss me. But in reality, this should of never happened. I can say some days I hate living in Moldova due to these types of things. Getting noticed all the time is very difficult, more so because when people find out I or we are Americans they are 100 percent more interested and often do things that aren´t right...I´m not sure why this happened to me this evening, and not sure I will ever know. Sometimes people say things happen to make us stronger, well some shit should never happen!!
Food poisoning.... well this on the other hand was my own fault. One day at my center we were celebrating St. Andrei´s day. Specifically, because the cook that works there her sons name is Andrei. The ladies had brought several little items to eat on this day, one including raw fish. Peace Corps has warned us about not eating the fish due to high levels of bacteria. Yet that is mostly from the lake fish and not the ocean. I had asked this day where it was from. The ladies claimed to not know. That should of been my first clue.... I took 2 small bites of the fish for respect. Because in Moldova it is very rude to turn down food and people often get offended. I went forward and tried the fish... Was fine all that evening, but as I woke up the next morning with the worst gut ache I have ever had and was puking my guts out.... Never again... never again... never again will I eat village fish!!
The break in....
Thursday the 15th a person from the village of Iargara Moldova tried to break into my house. This instance was beyond startling for me. It awoke me from my sleep, an had me terrified for my life. I have no clue what the persons intention was that night.. Whether they wanted me, my stuff, money... No idea. The only thing I know is I must of scared them off when I turned the light on, called my friend Michael and began discussing with him what to do. He advised me to call my host mom. Therefore, are 4am I sat there talking with my host mom on the phone, trying to decipher which words to use in romanian so she could understand what I was trying to tell her. I can say when romanian is not my native languae it is very had to speak when you are terrified and crying... however, I was able to use the right words, and she was at my house in a instant. That evening we weren´t able to identify anything or anyone. Yet, in the morning we discovered the lock had been broken and would need replaced. We called the cops and they came to investigate. We would of call them when the instance happened, however in my village the police don´t work in the evening(big shocker). The police didn´t say much beyong there are alot of criminals in the village, and that it´s very dangerous... Didn´t make me feel much better. They did give me all there cell phone numbers so if anything happens in the future they would come help.... Overall it made me do alot of thinking about my safety, service, and life in Moldova. My instant thought was to pack my things and leave, and even more so as I was bawling my eyes out to my father and friends.... After this, I took some time to tihnk and decided my service isn´t over as of yet, and I need to stick it out even for a few months longer. I have no idea what I will feel when I return to my village and what will happen, but I need to try one more time. Recognizing how hard it would be to leave, or to move to another village and have to readjust to another partner, work place, and village as a whole. It´s one of the hardest things I have ever done, and don´t believe I have it within me at this point to try another village.
There are so many things that happen to people all over the world every day. Most days I think it will never happen to me, but this has proven to me that sometimes the odds are against me and I will have to fight back. Peace Corps Moldova has been a struggle, but when you overcome the challenges it makes you feel tens times better. I don´t believe there is a time limit that should be set on anyones service such as 1 month or 2 years. I feel it´s when you as a person have decided you have accomplished all that you can. As for me I havne´t done that yet, and need to stay.
Beyond these scary instances my life in Moldova has been quite boring, it´s the same routine every day. Get up, go to work, sports club, shower, go home.. Day after day. My vacations are what keep me sane. Germany in November, Spain in December. Also looking to go to Scotland, Ireland and England in April with my two great friends Kory and Jessie. Looking forward to such adventures keeps me going every day and allows me to get out of bed. Because working 4 hours a day in a center where we accomplish nothing besides drinking coffee and playing volleyball isn´t anyones or at least not my idea of success. I keep telling myself that success will come in time. Seven months is rapidly approaching and I am hoping to see if that happens...
I feel as if I am missing out on a bunch back home.. My friends engagements, pregnancies, life, adventures, fun and laughter.... This is difficult to see and hear about, but also makes me appreciate them more, while knowing when I do go home it will truly be wonderful. In my life I always seek for adventure, sometimes I don´t think before I act.. which is quite stupid of me... However, I believe each adventure I take such in Peace Corps will make me a better and more knowledgeable person. A person with the integrity to do great things and to be able to say that I have seen the world and understand how to live and integrate into a different culture. I hope that these quailties will bring me great happiness in my future with life, family, a husband etc...
Take each moment for whats it´s worth. Never think to yourself that this day, this minute, this second that you´re not learning anything. Each day is special and worth something, be adventurous enough to go out and find what it is.. This is how I think daily, hard most, but fulfilling after....
The first couple weeks of December I felt like Moldova was challenging me in every way possible. From getting harrassed by two men on the street of Iargara, having food poisoning, and having an attempted break in to my home. These three things brought so much emotions up in my mind I didn´t know what to do with myself.
Starting with the harrassment. I was walking home from my center on a Monday evening. I noticed that a car was broken down and another man was assisting him. These two men didn´t notice I was American at the time, due to no street lights. However, they did notice that I was carrying a flash light and wanted to use it to fix the car. When I begun to speak they noticed my accent in the romanian language. Right away they wanted to touch me, kiss me and wouldn´t let me go. The men just kept saying to stay with them and that they wanted to talk with me. I expressed continously that someone was waiting for me and that I needed to go.. Finally after twenty minutes the men decided to let go of me and let me walk away. This was a scary day for me, because I felt violated, and scared out of my mind of what would happen next. I am very lucky that these two men didn´t do anything further then put their hands on me and try to kiss me. But in reality, this should of never happened. I can say some days I hate living in Moldova due to these types of things. Getting noticed all the time is very difficult, more so because when people find out I or we are Americans they are 100 percent more interested and often do things that aren´t right...I´m not sure why this happened to me this evening, and not sure I will ever know. Sometimes people say things happen to make us stronger, well some shit should never happen!!
Food poisoning.... well this on the other hand was my own fault. One day at my center we were celebrating St. Andrei´s day. Specifically, because the cook that works there her sons name is Andrei. The ladies had brought several little items to eat on this day, one including raw fish. Peace Corps has warned us about not eating the fish due to high levels of bacteria. Yet that is mostly from the lake fish and not the ocean. I had asked this day where it was from. The ladies claimed to not know. That should of been my first clue.... I took 2 small bites of the fish for respect. Because in Moldova it is very rude to turn down food and people often get offended. I went forward and tried the fish... Was fine all that evening, but as I woke up the next morning with the worst gut ache I have ever had and was puking my guts out.... Never again... never again... never again will I eat village fish!!
The break in....
Thursday the 15th a person from the village of Iargara Moldova tried to break into my house. This instance was beyond startling for me. It awoke me from my sleep, an had me terrified for my life. I have no clue what the persons intention was that night.. Whether they wanted me, my stuff, money... No idea. The only thing I know is I must of scared them off when I turned the light on, called my friend Michael and began discussing with him what to do. He advised me to call my host mom. Therefore, are 4am I sat there talking with my host mom on the phone, trying to decipher which words to use in romanian so she could understand what I was trying to tell her. I can say when romanian is not my native languae it is very had to speak when you are terrified and crying... however, I was able to use the right words, and she was at my house in a instant. That evening we weren´t able to identify anything or anyone. Yet, in the morning we discovered the lock had been broken and would need replaced. We called the cops and they came to investigate. We would of call them when the instance happened, however in my village the police don´t work in the evening(big shocker). The police didn´t say much beyong there are alot of criminals in the village, and that it´s very dangerous... Didn´t make me feel much better. They did give me all there cell phone numbers so if anything happens in the future they would come help.... Overall it made me do alot of thinking about my safety, service, and life in Moldova. My instant thought was to pack my things and leave, and even more so as I was bawling my eyes out to my father and friends.... After this, I took some time to tihnk and decided my service isn´t over as of yet, and I need to stick it out even for a few months longer. I have no idea what I will feel when I return to my village and what will happen, but I need to try one more time. Recognizing how hard it would be to leave, or to move to another village and have to readjust to another partner, work place, and village as a whole. It´s one of the hardest things I have ever done, and don´t believe I have it within me at this point to try another village.
There are so many things that happen to people all over the world every day. Most days I think it will never happen to me, but this has proven to me that sometimes the odds are against me and I will have to fight back. Peace Corps Moldova has been a struggle, but when you overcome the challenges it makes you feel tens times better. I don´t believe there is a time limit that should be set on anyones service such as 1 month or 2 years. I feel it´s when you as a person have decided you have accomplished all that you can. As for me I havne´t done that yet, and need to stay.
Beyond these scary instances my life in Moldova has been quite boring, it´s the same routine every day. Get up, go to work, sports club, shower, go home.. Day after day. My vacations are what keep me sane. Germany in November, Spain in December. Also looking to go to Scotland, Ireland and England in April with my two great friends Kory and Jessie. Looking forward to such adventures keeps me going every day and allows me to get out of bed. Because working 4 hours a day in a center where we accomplish nothing besides drinking coffee and playing volleyball isn´t anyones or at least not my idea of success. I keep telling myself that success will come in time. Seven months is rapidly approaching and I am hoping to see if that happens...
I feel as if I am missing out on a bunch back home.. My friends engagements, pregnancies, life, adventures, fun and laughter.... This is difficult to see and hear about, but also makes me appreciate them more, while knowing when I do go home it will truly be wonderful. In my life I always seek for adventure, sometimes I don´t think before I act.. which is quite stupid of me... However, I believe each adventure I take such in Peace Corps will make me a better and more knowledgeable person. A person with the integrity to do great things and to be able to say that I have seen the world and understand how to live and integrate into a different culture. I hope that these quailties will bring me great happiness in my future with life, family, a husband etc...
Take each moment for whats it´s worth. Never think to yourself that this day, this minute, this second that you´re not learning anything. Each day is special and worth something, be adventurous enough to go out and find what it is.. This is how I think daily, hard most, but fulfilling after....
No comments:
Post a Comment